Everything is awesome. Yeah but…

I see other people’s Facebook posts where they’ve posted something like:

“Your life is AWESOME right now – you just don’t realise it because of your own THOUGHTS!”

And then I see their friends are upset by the suggestion that serious issues like depression, grief and addiction can be just swept away with the ridiculously simple realisation that it’s all just down to thought.

And that’s totally understandable, this stuff IS ridiculous in its simplicity.

I remember when I first came across the 3Ps and it was pure slapping-of-the-head levels of duh! How had I missed something so basic? I’d wasted years of my life bitching and angsting (and seriously, I took angsting to a world-class standard, as my story of fifteen years of chronic pain shows) about nothing other than my own made-up thoughts.

The science bit

These conversations often result in debates about the cause and effect relationship between addictive personalities, the brain, depression, hormones, the amygdala, neurons and drugs but as much as we all adore playing amateur psychologist, it’s not getting us any closer to anything that feels like truth or to anything that makes a damn difference to our own lives.

For what it’s worth, I know a long-standing principles teacher, a doctor, who has talked to a large group of ‘brain experts’ (surgeons, scientists and the like) about the principles and they were getting the logic of it, no problem. They had no issues with the whole ‘feelings come from thoughts’ thing. Likewise, the psychiatrist and psychologists who talk about the 3Ps in their work.

If you want to find out the truth for yourself, maybe the most illuminating path would be to look to yourself for the answers. Don’t fall back on half-remembered A-level psychology, don’t hang on to the words of evangelists (except mine, obviously), don’t defer to the ‘experts’, don’t grasp onto the hand-me-down ideas that you’ve spent your life accepting as facts, instead look to your own experience of life as honestly and openly as you can and then see what that tells you.

Yeah but what if something really annoying happens, like.. uh… getting a parking ticket?

So today I got a parking ticket (the things I do for the 3Ps Blog, right?) and knowing that any anger about it would be coming from my own thoughts, meant I could smile at the parking warden and say “No worries, you’re just doing your job.” when he apologised very sweetly. We drove off (me and the children, not me and the parking warden, he wasn’t that sweet) with the children taking in turns to clutch the ticket like a trophy.

It’s not just the parking tickets of life that this thought-feeling connection holds true for. I’ve experienced bereavement, physical pain and all manner of other ups and downs in life, and my own experiences convince me over and over again that this is true – I can honestly say that I’ve never been aware of a time when my feelings haven’t been coming from my thoughts. Knowing that has settled me down, it no longer makes sense to angst about stuff when I know the only stuff that exists is my own thoughts.


4 Comments on Everything is awesome. Yeah but…

  1. gareth palfrey
    May 13, 2014 at 4:17 am (5 months ago)

    The benefit of undeerstanding also abound in my life Lian. About a year ago now I had borowed my brothers wifes car due to a mechanical problem with my car to cut a long story short the insurance company had made a clerical error and listed me as the additional driver on my policy and my son as the primary so I was not covered to drive another car. I was stopped by a policeman told I did not have insurace and he impounded the car. I lost two days work and it cost me £70 to get my borrowed car out impound and was facing fines and points on my licence. When I was told the car was going to be impounded I reacted in the first instance as of old then I just accepted it knowing that in the fulness of time the insurance company would have to pay and my angst was thought. Then I began to pay attention to the moment and I enjoyed the company of the blameless policeman who was taking me home. I went through all the inconvenience and expense cheerfully and recieved £300 compensation over my expenses from the insurance company. I avoided much self created pain and was at peace so very simply due to understanding where my experience comes from.

    • Lian Brook-Tyler
      May 13, 2014 at 6:55 am (5 months ago)

      That’s a gorgeous story, Gareth. A brilliant example of how we can have a ‘crap’ event happen and feel crap about or we can have the exact same event and we can engage with whatever thoughts in each moment that we like – my experience also shows that the latter path seems to bring feeings of unexpected gratitude and even pleasure. Thank you for sharing this!


    • Steve Light
      May 13, 2014 at 8:22 am (5 months ago)

      Gareth that’s a great little story. Thanks for sharing. That really is huge that you experienced those events in complete non resistance.

  2. Steve Light
    May 13, 2014 at 8:38 am (5 months ago)

    Great post LIan! I just wanted to share something similar. I went to top up my oyster card a few months back, and I put the £1.70 in the machine, but as I was rushing, I forgot to validate my card and the top up didn’t get added.

    During my journey, I felt myself getting so worked up about the £1.70 that I just lost, I was so angry in my mind. Then I just felt something inside that told me to let it go, a few seconds later, a thought popped into my head of someone smiling as they found £1.70 in the ticket machine.


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